Alpha & Beta

By Jonathan Mourant aka Nora Vision

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I am moving on from looking at myself with sadness.

It’s always been easy to see what’s missing. The pieces of myself I neglected, I squirreled away to protect after they were derided, mocked, sometimes even a quizzical look, a question that seeks to silence instead of inquire can be enough to never open oneself up to interrogation.

But when I block others from interrogation, I’m left to do it on my own.

I won’t commit to not judging myself.

I’m a critic of media and thought, and what am I but a fleshy combination of the two?

There will never be a day where I don’t look myself in the mirror and judge who I see.

(I’m just too damn good at it to quit)

But I’m shifting the lens. Changing the perspective. Recalibrating the expected results.

I am seeing what I am, what I hold. The abundance of self I have to offer.

The world of integrity and genuine nonsense that exudes from my pores.

Flowing through my blood is oxygen and contradiction.

White blood cells trained to combat the flu, the plague, and opinion.

My skin is not armor but it is a uniform

Conformity never to another, but pledged to the multiplicity in my being. I am hundreds. I am one in a million. I am a million to one.

I am mercury and venus

I am Lady gaga and Alexander the Great Elon Musk Candy Darling God The alpha the Beta

I am nothing

I am an empty vessel to be inserted with love + wonder + awe

(and cock)

+ Beauty + choice + judgement

There is no freedom without expectation

In contrast, humanity flourishes

In truth, subjectivity is obvious

In me, there is light

I can finally see it now